I am someone who always strives for more. A better relationship with my partner, doing more with my friends, getting fitter, eating more healthily, achieving goals that I set myself and then setting more. It’s easy to get caught up in always wanting more, especially in a society where this is drilled into us. Consumerism is everywhere and we are sold the dream of owning things will make us happy and feel successful. Wanting more, consuming more and striving for more is what will make us happy, only to find when we get there it doesn’t. The joys of getting something new or achieving a goal are fleeting and we are left feeling empty, which starts us back on the treadmill of wanting the next thing that we think will satisty us.
On the opposite side to this, is being completely content with what you have an never striving for anything more. As humans we are designed to evolve and grow and without this we are not living our purpose. In bettering ourselves every single day, we are strengthening ourselves to be of service to others.
So how do we hit the right balance of still growing and striving for better, whilst being grateful for what we have? Here are things that I have done to help me do exactly that.
- Practicing daily gratitude for what we already have. Practicing gratitude is powerful. When we consistently think about what we already have we begin to notice the little things around us and be appreciative for our life. It gives us time to reflect and feel content with what we have. I do this every day and take 5 minutes at the end of the day to write down 3 things that I am grateful for. I then separately write about my partner and what I am grateful for about him. I write down little things he has done that day or sometimes more generally about what I value about him and what he brings to our partnership. By focussing on the positives it helps us to realise what we already have and stops us constantly thinking we want more.
2) Setting goals and then at the same time choosing a reward for when these have been achieved. I have always set myself goals and been working towards something for the last 10 years, however, for the last year I started setting myself goals and then choosing an appropriate award for when I had completed it. By doing this, when I reached my goal the reward gave me time to reflect on what I had achieved and not just move straight onto the next thing. It gives me time to appreciate what has changed and how far I have come, as well as making achieving the goal more satisfying.
3) Discovering your ‘why’ behind every goal that you set. Your ‘why’ is the deeper reason behind why you want to achieve a particular goal. For example, your goal could be to get a promotion. Your surface level ‘why’ could be ‘because you want to make more money’. Your deeper ‘why’ could actually be ‘because you want to provide security to your family’. By connecting with the deeper reasoning behind your goal, when you reach it you are more likely to feel a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction, rather than feeling empty and wanting to move onto the next thing. Connecting with your ‘why’ is also really useful to stay motivated throughout your journey when things get tough and the little voice in your head pops up encouraging you to quit.
4) Romanticising your life and the work you are doing. I like to romanticise what I am doing so that I take time to enjoy the process rather than always aiming for the goal. This could be as simple as lighting a candle in my workspace and making it cosy, going to a coffee shop and ordering a lush drink whilst I work on things, or putting on a full face of makeup for when I am working from home and not seeing anyone.
5) Meditate and take time to connect with yourself. Centring yourself during meditation is a great way to connect with the present moment. Just being and existing in the present helps you to focus on the now rather than always living in the future.
6) Getting out of the consumer mindset and reducing your exposure to advertising and consumerism. I stopped buying clothes from shops over 6 years ago, and I have stuck to this on most occasions. I aim to only buy a few items of clothing a year and most of these will be second hand clothes from charity shops. Before I make a purchase I ask myself whether I need it and whether I love it. When we can distance ourselves from a consumer mindset, this feeds into other areas of our life and we can learn to become grateful for what we already have.
I have realised it is so important to live in the now and not constantly live in the future waiting for when I have achieved certain things and thinking I will instantly be happy when this time comes. It’s cheesy to say, but life is genuinely all about the journey. If we don’t enjoy the journey of working towards our goals and appreciate where we already are, then life will pass us by.
I hope you have found this post useful. If you are interested in working with me, I offer 1:1 coaching to empower women to live a life a purposeful life and achieve big goals. You can contact me here: Contact or follow me on Instagram here: Emily – Empowering Women to Live Their Dream Life (@emily_pursuit_of_purpose) • Instagram photos and videos
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