How to push through fear and start living the life of your dreams

Everyone has a dream, yet very few of us are living them. We only get one life and that life can be very short, so why are so many of us not living the life that we really want? In most cases it’s fear. Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown. Fear of what other people may think. Fear of making too much money and not knowing how to manage it. Fear of going against the grain. This fear keeps us small, keeps us safe. It keeps us from living the life that we truly desire.

So how do we push through this fear and move forward into our dream life?

1. Discover and re-write your self-limiting beliefs

We all have self-limiting beliefs which are engrained on our sub-conscious. These beliefs are often not our own and have been imposed upon us since we were born by our parents, teachers, carers, through societal norms and friends. These beliefs are hidden to our conscious mind and we make decisions based on these without even thinking about them.

Think about your dream life and all of the things you have thought about doing, but have stopped yourself. Spend some time writing all of these down and thinking about all the beliefs you have around these things. For example, one dream of yours could be write a book but you have never pursued it. Your self-limiting belief could be that no-one would like the book and it would never be published. Therefore, you have always stopped yourself from starting to write a book. This has kept you safe from being rejected by publishers and you have remained in your comfort zone.

Once you have identified all of your self-limiting beliefs it is time to re-write them. Your book scenario could turn into something like ‘I have always wanted to write a book as this is something I would love to do. Thousands of books get published every year, so I know that mine can be too if I believe in my dream and don’t give up.’

2. Find your big WHY

This is your vision and the reason why you want to achieve your goal. What does your dream life look like? What would this allow you to do and how would you live? How does this feel? This is the thing that will keep you going through the tough times. Keep you moving forward when you face obstacles and things get hard. Without a reason why, a goal is just a goal.

Throughout your journey keep checking in on your vision. Revisit it, lean into it, feel it and you will keep moving forwards.

3. Set SMART goals

Specific – what exactly is your goal. What do you specifically want to achieve?

Measurable – A goal needs to be able to be measured so you can identify whether it has been met or not. Defining this at the outset will make it super clear on what steps you need to take to achieve it.

Achievable – You want your goal to be ambitious, but it also needs to be achievable within the timeframe and with the resources you have available to you.

Relevant – your goal should be relevant to your long-term objectives and be aligned to your values.

Timebound – your end date should be realistic so you can achieve your goal. Also make it ambitious to increase your motivation and to keep you taking action and moving forwards.

4. Break your goals down into small chunks

Breaking your goals down into bite-sized chunks makes them seem less daunting and more achievable. Do one small thing every day towards your goals. Keep moving forward. Without fail. If you fall off track, acknowledge this, get back on track as soon as you can and keep moving ahead. Lots of us set out on our journey to achieving a goal. When we fail to keep up with the momentum and stop after a few days or weeks, we think that’s it and we don’t pick ourselves up and carry on. It’s natural that sometimes we will have a lapse in our habits and won’t be able to muster up the motivation to do something towards our goal. Acknowledge this, pick up from where you left off and keep going.

5. Acknowledge how far you have come.

Look back, reflect and review what you have achieved and how you have grown. This will continue to program your sub-conscious and will help to cement your new belief system that you can do this.

6. Hold yourself accountable.

You can do this by tracking your goals and habits, and/or finding an accountability partner and sharing your goals with them. Meet up regularly and talk though your goals and whether you are on track or not. You should choose someone who you trust and who will be able to confront and encourage you to keep going if you do falter.

I have found the best way to achieve my goals is preparation and setting yourself up for success. Setting realistic goals and scheduling in time each day to work on them can really help. I also look at what obstacles are likely to come up before I have even started and acknowledge them. I don’t try to solve them there and then, but just accept that they may come up. If a solution comes to mind right then, great! I note it down and move on.

Don’t let fear stand in the way of what you want to achieve. Fear can be a positive thing. Use the fear you have about remaining in the current situation you are as a way to propel yourself forward into actively changing your life. Fear is a feeling. It can be overcome. Have your clear goal in sight and do everything to keep moving towards it and you will eventually get there.